Why You Don't Want To Be The Loudest Guy In The Room

A universal truth that I've observed from almost 20 years of experience in combat sports.

Got to train with an ADCC medalist, two ADCC Trials champs, a DIV 1 wrestler, and Rainna this weekend. I would call that pretty damn training.

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to spend time training with and learning from two great minds in the sport: ADCC Trials champions Jon Satava and Jozef Chen.

I enjoyed my time with both, and of course, learned an insane amount of jiu-jitsu as well. But something stood out to me. It was less in the way they rolled and more in the way they carried themselves.

I wouldn’t describe either of them as “the loudest person in the room.” Literally or figuratively.

When I listened to them speak or watched them interact with students, their tone and body language suggested that they were not concerned with making everything about themselves, but were more so focused on how they could help the people they were talking to.

This is a philosophy and skill I believe is widely overlooked in professional sports and life.

Actions speak louder than words

Not too many people know this about me, but I started my martial arts journey with boxing.

I was probably 9 or 10 years old, with basically no exposure to anything combat sports-related up to that point.

Boxing was much different than any sport I had ever tried. There was no faking your hard work, and you couldn’t rely on anyone else to pick up the slack.

I learned two things very quickly:

1. No one could do the hard work for you, and

2. Talking tough didn’t mean anything. It most likely just meant you weren’t as good as you said you were.

You couldn’t fake having skills. You couldn’t just talk your way into the ring. And if you did, you would get exposed fairly quickly.

I saw plenty of guys try to talk tough only to get exposed by someone who actually was good. Most likely because they were annoyed by the guy who tried to draw unnecessary attention to himself.

From then on, I realized that it didn’t matter if you had the coolest clothes or nicest gear, and it certainly didn’t matter whether or not you talked like a tough guy.

My observations of Jon and Jozef

After observing Jon and Jozef I realized they were very similar to each other.

Both showed a high acumen for understanding grappling but neither seemed close-minded when it came to explaining techniques or exploring new ideas.

Beyond that, neither claimed to be anything they weren’t. They were humble, kind, and respectful. In simpler terms: they didn’t just talk the talk, because they knew they could walk the walk.

This stood out to me, and it reminded me of my time in the boxing gym. I saw so many big egos come and go. The only people who stuck around were the ones who accepted that there was plenty they didn’t know. This opened them up for more growth long term.

It also saves you from trying to prove yourself right all the time. This is exhausting and rarely contributes to growth.

Closing Thoughts

These are the types of training weekends I live for. Exposure to high-level guys who understand that to be the best, you don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not.

Jon and Jozef are both cream of the crop when it comes to top-level jiu-jitsu, but they don’t act like they’re better than anyone. Both are pretty normal dudes (aside from being insanely good at jiu-jitsu) and they don’t try to draw unnecessary attention to themselves.

It reminded me that no amount of clout in the world is worth compromising your morals. There are ways to make a name for yourself in your community or on a larger scale that don’t include you trying to talk your way to the top.

Focusing on building skills and maintaining your character will take you much further than trying to be someone you’re not.